The Beginning is the End

It's Sunday. Is it the end of the week or just the beginning?

In a few minutes, it's gonna be Monday--the beginning of the week days.

At the end of these week days is Friday--January 1, 2010--the beginning of another year.

These past few days I've been browsing through my life. The milestones, the downfalls, and every little thing in between. I dreamed, I failed, I stopped dreaming...and now I'm dreaming again. This probably could be one of the most critical points in my life--to know who I am, to find out what I want, and to accept what I am destined for.

I need to begin...but...

how?

when?

where?

what?

...but the beginning of something, should it mean the end of another?

What am I willing to give up?

What is worth fighting for?

What will I become after?

The year is about to end...but a new one is just about to begin. :]

Starting

I've just recovered! I've been through alot of pain, felt alot of heartaches, and almost gave up when I lost control of myself.

When I was younger, I thought I knew everything. I was very confident that I could handle everything that will come my way. I was stubborn--I never listened to my parents. If I already knew everything that time, my life should have ended there. I thought I already know God...I thought I really loved Him.

I was in love with somebody and I thought I was happy with him and everything's just fine. But if only I was awake in reality, it should have been the other way around. Temptation was lurking everywhere and it was hard to resist. It got me. I fell into the ditch because I was blind, and was with a blind. When things were beginning to suck, I already lost everyone I could hang on to: my friends, my family, and God. Not that they abandoned me, but I abandoned them. Then I was all alone.

I thought I was alone.

But my friends, my family and my Master are just there...waiting for me to approach them. They had a hard time waking me up to reality because they know they're gonna hurt me. But their love for me gave them the courage to do so because they know it's gonna be good for me. It was hard accepting the fact that I must let go; and letting go was much more painful; BUT, deciding to let go of everything and turning it over to God's hands was Liberating!

Because of such experiences, I turned to Him for refuge. I tried to follow eveything He said. Of course it was really, really, really hard because it's aginst my will, but I ended up really finding Him and learning to love Him. It is a wonderful feeling when I surrendered everything to Him and felt that "GOD IS ENOUGH FOR ME." [That sentence had no significance for me when I've read that on Couples For Christ shirts and pins, and singing it during gatherings until I felt the impact it made in my life when I was really down; and I TESTIFY to it!]

Life made me suffer alot because I loved the wrong way, but I don't regret it. If I didn't have an experience like that, I'd still be that swell-headed child my parents had, that stubborn friend my friends were protecting, and that shameless pupil that God is molding. Bad experiences aren't really bad because with them are beautiful lessons to be learned.

I have a long way to go and am still learning. Alot of painful experiences are waiting for me, but I am confident because God is with me. Living every day is always a wonderful experience. Each day with new lessons to learn; each day with a new life to live.

I'm just starting...Life's gonna be exciting! :)